“The very person you find it hardest to forgive is the one you need to let go of the most. Forgiveness means letting go. It has nothing to do with condoning the behavior, it’s just letting the whole thing go. We do not have to know how to forgive. All we need to do is be willing, to forgive”. -Louise Hay.
Forgiveness is a little difficult area to deal with. I am sure we all have pending forgiveness files that need to be managed. If you are stuck in life and don’t know how to move on, love more, give more then all you need is to complete this forgiveness job.
Why am I talking about forgiveness? Just so you know, I am like you all, I got my heart broken and I kept on in life with those broken pieces and it severely impacted my life, people who came into my life, people who loved me, I was a terrible mess. I made myself so alone that a point came where I had no one to share my heart with, literally no one.I was alone & clueless. Big time!
I had over 500+ contacts in my phone but nobody to talk and by talk, I mean heart to heart conversation. Trust me there was not a single soul around neither physically nor virtually. I still don’t know how I manage to get myself into a mess like this? Do you relate?
We are smart in every facet of our life, we earn good, we look good, we have plans for future and we work our tail off to reach that place. Then all of a sudden our world comes crash right in front of us. And, we lose track, nothing makes sense, we forget our real self and our life. Yes, it happens with people some mention and some smartly ignore it but down the line, we all know what I am referring here.
I know it sucks real bad. I have no shame to admit, I had my time, where I was down and beaten up by myself for things that I didn’t do. I looked for ways to get myself out of it, tried writing my feelings out on paper, the second best thing was traveling that came into my mind. I always wanted to go Switzerland and there was no better time for it.
I still remember that day, it was early morning and we were moving out of Germany to Paris in our luxury coach. Our tour guide was a very friendly lady she played few tracks combo of Indian and western and all the tracks she played were the same I had in my phone I avoided for the obvious reasons.
I came all the while to Europe to get someone out of my head and boom he is back again. I was sitting thousands of miles away in different time zone, I hadn’t seen him in years and still, he plays into my mind like that. In a flip, I was back in that time. I had tears in my eyes. I realized I was running from him that’s the reason his memories were chasing me.
I never came to terms with him in my mind. I never forgive him neither myself.I wasn’t happy because I never waived him off for leaving me alone like this. But the moment I decide to let go. I felt so light within. I only see how much I love him and will always remember with him love and then let him go. It was hard but not impossible.
If I can get out if it, sure others can too. That night I recap everything that happened every single instance that impacted me and I realized that it was not only me who was trying to make a life with him, it was us, and it must have been hard for him as well. In that moment, I wasn’t judging I found a way to come to terms with myself again by way of forgiveness. And it worked.
The moment I decide to let go. I felt so light within. I only see how much I love him and will always remember with him love and then let him go. It was hard but not impossible. If I can get out if it, sure others can too. And you know, a few weeks later I received a call from him for no reason and he explained his point of view to me. It was like we both were healing each other by forgiving each other.
I still had my moments but I don’t feel left alone. I feel I am with him only it’s just our journey is different. And it doesn’t hurt either it leaves me with tears anymore.He wanted to go somewhere else and now I am ok with it. I still respect him the way I use to, love him and respect him more than ever. Forgiveness is the thing, my friends.
Forgiving yourself is as important as forgiving others for their part. Forgiving someone who did wrong to you is a way of liberating yourself of that negative energy. Lighten yourself up from the burden you’re carrying from the past. Say it and get over with it. When you say it you mean it at times words don’t come out easily when we don’t mean them. I hope you know what I am talking about.
If you want to move on in life forgiving others or forgiving yourself is what you need as a passport without it, you can’t just move out. Forgiveness is not easy, it takes time, it hurts until you learn your lessons properly and then a time comes where we laugh at the same thing which gives us sleepless sobbing nights. It’s part of growing.
Forgiving others or someone who has done wrong to you in any way will unburden your mind and forgive yourself will fix your peace of mind.
If you know someone who needs to read it, just share it, you never know, this could be a turning point for someone or this may trigger something for good. And if you have come this far reading it, I am sure a part of you needed this to listen in full. I am happy that you have taken your step towards healing yourself.
I have seen many times in my circle and around that people move on with a heavy heart and they stay with that for a very long time that hampers their current relationships if they dare to get into, generally, people stay clear away from any emotional commitments. Is it right? I know there are things above and beneath right or wrong when it comes to love.
Until you tell your story without tears you aren’t healed. Sure we are broken, sure dreams are shattered, your center has been damaged completely, and you got nobody to whom you can fall back. For such moments, go where love is, do what makes you feel calmer and if in the worst case scenario you actually feel lost in this material world and want to meet life, plant a tree and see it growing every single day, nurture it. You will see life happening, live in front of you.
Sure you love him/her and he/she loves you more than anyone else but still he/she can’t stand on his words. Yes, shit happens. It is the worst feeling ever. I know trust me I have been there. In moments like those, stand in your own truth. You know deep inside your heart, you know everything about you, not others, so spare them. To understand you, others need to be you. And tell me when the god or someone has ever promised you that you will end up with a guy you fall in love with. We don’t know what’s going happen next moment. In the face of the earth, nothing is under our control, so why we all worry so much.
Never sweat a small stuff, because it’s all the small stuff. Try to analyze what life is trying to teach you. Break-ups are awful and they are personal. At the end, I just want to say, there is no point of being miserable for rest of your life. Trust me it gives you nothing than an empty life moment, low self-esteem, aloofness, solitude, roughness and much more than for which we don’t even have words.
The best thing that works for this aching soul is forgiveness. Forgive yourself and others for what they have done, including yourself if you are living with guilt. You have to get in terms of your experience; else it will haunt you forever. You may not realize but you will be living and fight with depression and fear and it will affect all your loved ones.
They don’t know what going on your heart. And, even if they know, they won’t get the intensity of it. At the end, you have to overcome on your own.
We are adults and we are capable enough to keep possibilities in our mind. In situations, where we have given everything, burned the boats, closed all doors and poof you realize there is no way to go back or forward that’s where you have stuck. If you have done so and resonates with me, never put yourself in such deep shit. From now on, take a calculated risk, and even if you do because that’s what life is, it takes us back on the same road to test us whether we have learned something or not. Don’t fail here; always zap back to real life.
Write it out, it really works for me. And I am sure it will work for you, it will help your mind to clutter out everything that is making you feel terrible.
Accept yourself; the first love begins with the self if you cannot love yourself then how you can love other. Forgive others and yourself, always remember moving on life with pain, resentment, shattered dreams, betrayed heart is very difficult and trust me pains turns into divinity when you forgive others for their sin. Always remember you the part and take your step back from the situation or person.
And if you think there is something that needs a closure provide yourself that closure. Make that call, text it out, meet out do whatever it takes to get it out from your system.
Spend some time with yourself. Yes some quality time with you, nurturing yourself, pampering yourself, things take their own sweet time and you must give them. But be present, in the flow of life, participate then only you can live and you better live in the present.
People mostly say you should have a new hairdo have you ever wondered why they only say hairdo why not pedicure or manicure. It’s because a new hairdo makes you look in the mirror and it gives mirror an opportunity to tell you, hey gorgeous look at you, after all, such shit, you are still intact, you’re fine and rest will be fine soon. Try to see the real you with a new hairdo or without it. Dust off and get back into the mainstream and just perform. Tune in your frequency doesn’t block you into others.
You are more than what you think you are. You are more compassionate, more loving and giving. Be fearless, you are a giver enjoy the honor of being one.
Life is too short for being miserable. Live it all, while you can. You may never know when the scene ends. Play all your roles well enough. You are just not a lover who lost her love; you are also a daughter, a sister, a friend, etc.
I don’t know why I am writing this out, I feel there are many who need to hear this out maybe just to recall that life isn’t over. There is still a lot to do.Don’t waste your life, every single moment is precious. Go live it. Bon Jovi says it all – It’s my life, it’s now or never. I ain’t gonna live forever. I just wanna live while I am alive, It’s my life.
Here are some my favorite quotes on forgiveness until we meet again, always remember I love you all.
1.”The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” Mahatma Gandhi
2. “Forgiveness says you are given another chance to make a new beginning.” Desmond Tutu
3. “Forgiveness is the final form of love.” Reinhold Niebuhr
4. “True forgiveness is when you can say, “Thank you for that experience.” Oprah Winfrey